From my Facebook Account...Fun Read ·
Aug 23, 03:02 PMThe Basics
| Hair Color: | brown, but not poop brown, more like majestic brown |
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| Eye Color: | sexy brown |
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| Height: | 5" 9" something in a half |
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| Profession: | Professional Bullshitter/ Part Time Sr. Designer |
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| Relationship Status: | Married, BULLYA! |
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| Religious Views: | I believe are children are the future same as Michael Jackson |
My Favorites
| Favorite Color: | oooo! oooo! so many colors, hmm, #FF9900 and #BE0027 |
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| Favorite Car: | The Delorium with the Back to the Future Package |
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| Favorite Movie: | hmmm...one fav movie? fuck. one. one. Seven. |
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| Favorite Hobby: | bullshitting people |
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| Favorite Song/Singer: | We Got The Beat, by the Go Go's |
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| Favorite Book/Author: | Berke Breathed, Bloom County |
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| Favorite School Subject: | English |
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| Favorite Vacation Destination: | Fiji, hmm, Fiji |
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| Favorite Food: | Chocolate, hmm, chocolate |
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| Favorite Restaurant: | Burger King, hmm, Burger King |
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| Favorite Animal: | Burger King, hmm, Burger King |
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| Favorite Store: | Spy Shops |
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| Favorite Celebrity : | Lindsay Lohan |
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| Favorite Childhood Friend: | Giovanni Castiglione. Hi Gio! |
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| Favorite Childhood Memory: | Getting kicked in the balls by my brother after I had kicked him countless times... Never a dull moment as a child. |
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| Favorite Baby Name: | Sexy Fucking Kid |
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| Favorite Person In Your Life: | My Wife. |
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| Favorite Facebook Application : | I hate hate hate hate facebook apps, except for this one now. |
This or That
| Chocolate or Vanilla: | Chocolate you freaking fool and I pity the Fool that chooses Vanilla. I will KICK your ass IF YOU PICK VANILLA. |
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| Big Mac or Whopper: | OMG. No you didn't!! WHOPPER! Hello. I worked my ass off at BK when i was 14, sniff snif, this app is killing me. |
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| Coke or Pepsi : | COKE, but wait, when I was in 5th grade this really cute girl let me drink out of her Pepsi, even if she was sick... Sponsored by Coke Zero |
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| Beer or Wine: | Wine, i love to wine. I can wine all day long. I'm a winer. |
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| Coffee or Tea: | I myself perfer cocaine. Yes, it's fast and it gives you that extra lil hit of Go, with a follow up of ether, that just hits the spot. |
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| Apple Juice or O.J.: | Um, Carrot Juice. Great now EVERYONE knows i'm a freak. There I said it, I love Carrot Juice. |
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| Facebook or MySpace: | i can't stand them both equally. go join www.hatebook.com |
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| Summer or Winter: | i've never felt winter i live in south florida. life is sad |
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| Windows or Mac: | OR! I love OR! OR is the best operating system EVER! |
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| Cats or Dogs: | I hate them both equally. In fact I have a 35lb rabbit that scares them away. |
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| Boxers or Briefs: | Freeballer |
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| Rain or Shine : | I like the weather just before the hurricane hits when the surf is just 8-13 feet hight. |
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| Chips or Popcorn: | Popcorn man these are some stupid questions. Who ever heard of people going out and buying popcorn at the grocery store. Hey honey, do you want super fat popcorn, the flavored popcorn, or the what the fuck? Holy shit, why the HELL are we buying popcorn?!!! Holy crap we've been brain-o-titzed! |
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| Salty or Sweet: | I like sweet, but I am diabetic. |
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| Plane or Boat: | i own one of each but the boat really can't kill me so i say boat. |
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| Morning or Night: | Night. Oh yes, when you see some freak outside your home at night, yup, that's me. |
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| Movie or Play: | Movie, plays have too many words. |
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| Walk or Drive: | Drive and fast. And by fast I mean, get the hell out of my way so you can see the bumper sticker on the back of my car that says, BYOTCH. |
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| Money or Love: | Money can buy me love, it's a song ok and it's not wrong. |
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| Breakfast or Dinner: | I like ... don't even want to answer this. shit. i'm so tired now. fine. breakfast. |
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| Forgiveness or Revenge: | REVENGE! OMG! This is why I carry this book with names of people. |
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| Paint or Wallpaper: | Paint it's no fun to play paintball with wallpaper, I prefer to use my lightsaber. |
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| House or Apartment: | Apartment, I need to know that there's someone near me that can hear me when I'm getting killed. |
Do You?
| Have Any Pets: | Yes, I answers this before damn it. |
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| Have Any Children: | No, I am not allowed to procreate, God said so and so did the Devil. |
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| Smoke: | Yes, wait, are you offering? |
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| Drink: | Yes, wait, is this a trick question. |
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| Exercise: | No, I prefer to just suck on poppers, drink diet teas, suck on some ephedrine and wear a hip belt. |
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| Spend Your Life On Facebook: | Yes, trying to get people's social security numbers. |
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| Play On A Sports Team: | Yes if by sports you mean team games. |
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| Belong To Any Organizations: | Yes! Guess which ones! |
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| Love Your Job: | I DO if my job is to do this crap. |
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| Like To Cook: | I love to cook and so do the firemen that visit me when I'm done. |
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| Play An Instrument: | Yes. I play the piano but it sounds like dogs dieing. |
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| Sing: | Yes! OMG, I was an intermediate round two level singer on American Idol and" then the snake said, "Oh my god. You suck." and i was like "um, I gotta go." |
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| Dance: | I was a round two marathon winner on Dancing with the Farts. |
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| Speak Multiple Languages: | Yes, I speak English, Spanish. There one straight answer. |
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| Ice Skate: | YES! |
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| Swim: | YES! I love the suits. I do. |
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| Paint: | I do. it's sad tho. i mean they just black or red canvases. |
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| Write: | hello? |
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| Ski: | yes, i'm a great skier, if by skying you mean having sex. |
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| Juggle: | yes, i'm a great juggler if by juggling you mean handling ... well you know. HA! |
Have You Ever
| Stolen Anything: | I steal something everyday, it's how I keep the universe from falling apart. |
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| Been Drunk Before Noon: | I am always drunk with anticipation before noon. |
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| Had Sex In A Public Place: | Um, yes. Hello, I'm Zeus. |
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| Got Caught Telling A Lie: | Not as of yet, i'm on 14million so far. |
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| Got A Speeding Ticket: | hells no, when those bitches come I just go faster, BULLYA!~ |
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| Been Arrested: | no. did you not read the thing before? |
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| Littered: | no, believe it or not, i'm green. I'm a green, speeding liar. Great. |
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| Fantasized About A Co-Worker: | All the time, hello. |
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| Cheated On A Test: | All the time, omg, what other way is there to take a test? Wait, is making designs on tests considered cheating or art? |
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| Cheated In A Relationship: | No, yes, No, yes, yes, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, and then no. |
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| Failed A Class: | Yes. I hate math. Fucking what finally happens when the two trains meet and one left at 30mph and had the 10 minute stop??! Is there a happy ending to that story? |
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| Screened Your Phone Calls: | No, I answer them randomly. |
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| Eaten Food Off The Floor: | Hell yea. |
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| Stuck Gum Under A Desk: | And boogers, snoot balls, food, tape, candy, sneeze bits, you name it, if i sat on your desk, be warned. |
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| Wished You Were Someone Else: | Holy shit no. |
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| Cried During A Movie: | yes, i'm a sap. when the guy gets away with it in No Country for Old Man i cried, i was so happy for him getting away. Then I went out and shot someone. |
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| Had A One Night Stand: | Yes. Bitch, call me. |
Other
| Describe Yourself In One Word: | Awesomers. |
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| Biggest Fear: | To get caught. |
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| Biggest Mistake: | None yet! |
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| Your Proudest Accomplishment: | I laugh every single day |
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| #1 Priority In Your Life: | My family. |
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| Dream Job: | Flight Attendant of my own plane. |
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| Causes You Believe In: | ...? huh? |
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| Special Talents: | I can ... damn. i have none. wait, i can draw. |
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| Where Are You Right Now: | at home... |
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| Where Would You Rather Be: | in bed. |
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| Famous Person You Want To Meet: | Sumner Redstone |
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| Place To Visit Before You Die: | fiji |
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| Song Played At Your Funeral: | Vacation, by the Go Go's. here, listen. |
— Zeus Blog
