Categorized under: stories
Research if its not done (im serious), then a write up, in English, or Norwegian/Swedish, what the app simply should do. Next, add some IF statements into your write up, like this:
I’m supposed to take Christine for a drink IF Christine and I ever meet
When we do meet I’ll get sloshed
IF Zeus gets sloshed, Christine will prob use her phone to record the insanity behooved.
ELSE If Zeus and Christine do not meet Zeus will just play Wii. Seriously.
Now the more particular you are about statements the better.
For instance notice how the whole thing happens around an FB wrapper! So that’s a great way to explain to someone what happens when an incident occurs. For instance:
When Chistine posts
A. Zeus will remind her to get drunk
B. Zues will spell his name wrong
Though in that last statement I seriously should have used a loop like, != or == greater than symbols because they can denote hearts < 3 <3 hearts<!—
Fun right!? So let’s move on to designing these fucking apps yo. HO YEA!
At this point you’re ready to get some WIREFRAMES done! Fuck yea! This is fun to do too -especially if you’re fucking nuts -like me! Basically you open like WORD, and you draw boxes. Lots of boxes. Shitloads of fucking boxes. Then you find someone to put color IN the boxes! IN! Make sure all your boxes received by the designer has, very important, ROUNDED CORNERS. It doesn’t matter if anything is functional as long as it has ROUNDED CORNERS! Assome right. Rounded corners solve everything.
Finally you send all this information to a Chinese programmer ($4 an hour pro that will code your shit for Americans like a sweet puppy from Nigeria covered in gold where his barks sound like Celine Dion and his poop makes golden eggs look like shit. seriously.)
That’s how we code -in America. If you have $100 bucks, you can get an app produced. .
— Zeus ::)
Jun 05, 2012